The Law Of Polarity: What It Is And Why It Matters

In this article, learn about the Law of Polarity, one of the 12 Laws of the Universe. Plus, get journaling questions to help you understand how the Law of Polarity can offer a deeper perspective of your own life.

The Beauty Of Contrast

When I lived in Hawaii for a year, one of the most surprising realizations I had was realizing that I actually kind of missed cold weather.

Now, if you know me, you know this is a pretty big deal.

I’m someone who has always lived for warm weather and sunshine. I’m the weird person at the summer barbecue who would rather sit in the sun than in the shade, and the temperature in my apartment is a consistent 75 degrees Fahrenheit.

To say I don’t like the cold is an understatement. I’ve spent most of my life despising it. I was born for sunshine and summer heat, and I’ve always dreaded the coldness of winter.

At least, until it was gone.

During the months of continuous hot days I experienced in Hawaii, something kind of funny started to happen. I realized that I actually kind of missed those cold days when I’d get to stay in my sweats all day and snuggle up on the couch with a mug of something warm.

I missed the gray, rainy days when I’d feel completely justified doing absolutely nothing at all.

And I especially missed having a white, snowy Christmas, even though I always assumed Christmas in Hawaii would be a dream.

To this day, if you ask me what I prefer, I’ll absolutely tell you I’d take bright, sunny days 98% of the time.

But I can begrudgingly admit that some cold days aren’t so bad, and I know I’d be sad if they didn’t exist at all.

For many reasons, the contrast of hot days and cold ones is needed, even if we prefer one over the other.

This is the Law of Polarity.

Related: What Are the 12 Laws of the Universe? (A Complete Guide)

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What Is The Law Of Polarity?

The Law of Polarity states that everything has an opposite, and the existence of these opposites is vital in helping us to gain a deeper perspective of our own lives.

The example I used above shows you how this law plays out in its most basic form. While I’m clearly on Team Sun, I don’t think I’d want it to be bright and sunny all the time. There’s a reason why cold weather exists.

Plus, rainy days are good for both the earth and the soul.

On top of that, the existence of the cold makes me appreciate the sun even more. If all I ever knew was sun, I’d probably take it for granted and eventually get sick of it.

One way to think about the Law of Polarity is to think of two sides of the same coin, which we typically call Heads and Tails.

These two sides are forever inextricably linked. As long as you’re holding this coin, there will always be a Heads and a Tails. One cannot exist without the other. And when you need to make a decision and decide to flip a coin, Heads represents one possible outcome and Tails represents its opposite.

Now, you can pretty much take anything that’s considered an opposite and view it as though they’re opposing sides of the same coin: hot vs. cold, light vs. dark, good vs. evil. All of these things are forever linked together. They’re two sides of the same coin, or opposite sides of the same pole. Because there’s duality in everything, you can’t have one without the other.

This is the Law of Polarity at its foundation: everything in the world has an opposite. Duality exists in everything.

And the existence of these opposites is critical to how we understand our lives and the world we live in.

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Lessons From The Law Of Polarity

If you had to break the Law of Polarity into its core parts, you might use words like opposites, contrast, and duality.

Every positive has a negative. Every up has a down. And every day has a night.

It seems like a simple-enough concept, but what can it teach you?

Love the Good When You Have It

Every time I get sick, I think, “I am never going to take for granted the days my body feels healthy again.”

Actually, I think about this with all the pain I’ve experienced, especially the really big, painful experiences. Like when I crashed mountain biking a couple years ago and ended up in the ER. Or when my body broke out in hives for two weeks after a bad reaction to laundry detergent.

“I just want my body back,” I remember thinking during both of these instances. “I’ll never take my body for granted again. I promise.”

Moments of pain and sickness have helped me to truly appreciate my body and all that it does for me.

And this is one of the greatest miracles of the Law of Polarity—it helps us to value and appreciate all the aspects of our lives we’d likely take for granted if we didn’t experience some kind of contrast.

A not-so-great relationship often helps you to value and cherish a really good one more fully and deeply. Scholastic or career rejection can help you to love and feel grateful for your successes. Knowing what it’s like to have less money often helps you appreciate having more. There is purpose to all of it. There’s a gift in all of it.

But still, it’s up to you to find the gift and embrace it for what it is. You get to choose your mindset. You can say, “The universe is always out to get me,” or you can say, “Every experience I’m given is an opportunity for gratitude and growth.”

These two perspectives are available to you at all times. It’s just up to you to decide which way you want to lean.

The “Negative” Has Value & Purpose, Too

For me, this is most clearly shown in my relationship with cold weather. I despised the cold weather until I didn’t have it anymore. Then, I realized that there were things about the cold that I actually liked.

My favorite way to think about this, though, is in terms of darkness and light.

Symbolically, light is often used to represent a universal good, while darkness is used to represent a universal bad.

But “good” and “bad” are just labels we bestow upon ideas and things—there is no moral good or bad when it comes to darkness and light.

And darkness has value and purpose, just as the light does.

Darkness is beneficial for the health of the planet as well as our own biological health.

But it’s not just the darkness of the night that has its benefits. We all carry shadows within us, and often, we try to suppress these shadows or pretend they don’t exist.

But if you look deeper, you’ll see that your shadows are kind of beautiful, too. Your grief, sadness, pain, and even the moments when you get angry at the universe are all evidence of a life fully lived.

I’ve found that my inner shadows are usually my greatest teacher. When I step into my darkness, I uncover my innermost thoughts and feelings; this, in turn, helps me to grow and transform.

When you really dig into the Law of Polarity, you see that often, it isn’t a situation of one side of the coin being “good” while the other is “bad.” Rather, both sides have meaningful value to offer the world.

Related: 24 Shadow Work Journal Prompts For Inner Healing

You Have To Know What You Don’t Want To Know What You Do Want

This is one of the greatest lessons we often learn in early romantic relationships. When you first start exploring serious relationships, it’s likely you don’t have a long list of must haves and deal-breakers. This is generally a good thing. Keeping your mind and heart open to multiple possibilities allows you to discover more about yourself and what you want; you may even uncover some unexpected realizations along the way.

It may be easy to write off the relationships that ended badly as mistakes, but nothing is truly a mistake. Every experience offers an opportunity to learn.

For instance, maybe you had never thought a lot about political views in a relationship, but after dating someone with polar opposite political views, you’ve realized that you need to be with someone who holds similar views and attitudes. This doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything all the time, but there may be some social and political issues that are especially important to you.

Or maybe traveling is a priority for you, and you’ve dated someone who isn’t big on traveling. You may not have known just how important this was to you until you dated this person, and now it’s something you know moving forward.

In many situations, we have to experience what we don’t want in order to truly know what we do want.

The first time you buy or rent a home, you’ll likely begin to notice an assortment of random “little things” that might bother you, like having only one sink in the master bathroom instead of two. And maybe this isn’t a deal-breaker, but then you start to notice that there isn’t enough storage space to keep all your things.

Storage space, you realize, is a non-negotiable.

So now you know that when you rent or buy your next home, you’ll absolutely be making sure that there’s plenty of storage wherever you go.

Contrast illuminates what’s really important to you. It sheds light on what matters.

Let the negative situations be teaching experiences to show you what you do and don’t want in your life.

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Going Deeper With The Law Of Polarity

How can you use this knowledge of the Law of Polarity to gain a deeper understanding of your own life? And how can it help you with any current hardships you’re facing?

To understand how the Law of Polarity is currently playing out in your life, you have to take a step back and get a wider perspective.

Think about the different aspects of your life right now: your relationships, your career, your home, your health, your free time, and your habits.

What’s working? What’s not working? For anything that’s not working, can you pinpoint what exactly it is? What is this experience showing you? What are you learning about yourself and your preferences?

For anything that you feel isn’t working, don’t judge yourself. In fact, have the perspective that this is a good thing—that it’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve.

Below are some questions to help you gain an understanding of how the Law of Polarity plays a role in your life. You can journal your answers or simply think about your responses.

In what ways have you experienced contrast in romantic relationships? (What you do want vs. What you don’t want)
In what ways have you experienced contrast in your career? (What you do want vs. What you don’t want)
What other examples of contrast in your life have I experienced?
Write about a time when experiencing something you didn’t want helped you to learn what you did want.
Write about a time when something went wrong, and this helped you to have more appreciation for when the same thing is going right. (For example, when sickness allowed you to appreciate your healthy body more.)
Write about something that you’ve always labeled as bad (i.e., cold weather), but you’ve discovered there’s value and meaning to the existence of this thing.
What’s one aspect of my life right now you wish you could change? What is this teaching you? How can you grow through this experience?
What’s one aspect of your life right now that’s going really well? Has this aspect of your life always gone well? What did past experiences teach you, and how did they lead to this thing going well right now? (For instance, if you’re in a really great relationship or career right now, did you have a past relationship or job that helped you to see what you didn’t want, leading you to this relationship or career?)

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